


i think this time i'm dying

by Mothervvoid



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Second Person, Panic Attacks, Sickfic, Time Travelling Karl Jacobs, Vomiting, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29163663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mothervvoid/pseuds/Mothervvoid
Summary: Is this it? Are you dying? No. You're fucking Karl Jacobs, you can't die.But it can always hurt like you're dying.
Relationships: GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 7
Kudos: 99





	i think this time i'm dying

**Author's Note:**

> galaxy-brained at four am and wrote this, whoopie. was supposed to be a missing scene from before chapter one of my fic, [when the dust settles](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28962651/chapters/71071593) that i was planning on posting after chapter two but im impatient so im posting it now :)

Your body feels as if it were bent at all the wrong angles, internal organs squished and stretched against the walls of your being, bones broken and splintered. Everything pushed to the absolute threshold of what your body could handle, twisted and writhing there on the floor. A harsh kind of agony, one that took you in its unrelenting arms and held you down, pushed and pushed until your body shattered under the weight.

You gasp for air and wonder if you’re dying. You probably are, you’ve done it before. Laid there at the brink, felt the cool caress of death before you were brought back, kicking and screaming into the world of the living. You could even lay here and wait for it; maybe even hope for it. It's a special kind of torment, to be in so much anguish that you actually _want_ to die, blind to everything, every thought and sensation pushed from your perception except for this.

But your respawn never comes. You lay there and writhe on the floor in prolonged agony, twisting over onto your belly to heave up the meager contents of your stomach before you finally slump, defeated, face-down on the floor.

Quick, heaving breaths give way to gasped whimpers as your muscles continue to spasm, your shoulders shuddering with dry heaves. Where even are you? Are you vomiting all over some stranger's floor? How long have you been here? A minute? An hour? A week? Does it matter? 

“Karl?” 

A voice. A voice that sounds vaguely familiar, rattling around the inside of your skull as if it were attempting to bounce off of a memory to stir some kind of recognition. It was deep, a calming timbre despite the alarm and concern that flavored its tone. 

“Karl, oh my _god_ —“ It’s closer now, knelt down next to you with a hand on your shoulder; “ _Breathe_ , baby—“ 

It’s no use, you’d like to say. Your chest hurts, a shrill sharpness that shoots through your heart and once again you think that your dying, you’re going to die here on the floor and you don’t know where you are—

Whoever the voice belonged to just flipped you onto you back. You let out a cry of alarm, but even _you_ don’t know what you’re alarmed _of_. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry; I’m not really—“ They experimentally lift you again, one side of your body higher than the other as they attempt to prop you on your side; "Sorry Karl, don't entirely know what I'm doing," Despite their ignorance, you feel a bit safer knowing they’re here. You don’t want them to leave. “Uh, is it okay if I touch you?”

You nod, frantically, _yes_ ; and agony hands you over to something else, something warm; something that smells like ashes and cedar smoke and sweet familiarity. Your hands grab, finding purchase on fabric and you dig your fingers into their clothing, desperate for something to anchor you here. Being held so tightly to their chest, you eagerly nuzzle down into the scent, wanting to sink into the familiarity and drift for a little while.

“It’s gonna be alright,” They whisper, rocking you. You almost don’t feel it at first, your head still spinning from vertigo, but as you settle you notice a gentle swaying motion; “I’ve got 'cha.” 

Slowly, painfully slow; you come down, drifting downward like a feather to the surface of a lake. Your breathing steadies, your stomach begins to settle, and as you blink the panic from your gaze, you come to realize you’re laying in Sapnap’s arms. 

“There you are,” Sapnap murmurs as the recognition returns to your gaze, his voice rumbling through his chest, “Hey Karl.” You can hear the relief and the smile through his voice and it makes you want to cry.

How could you almost not recognize Sapnap? 

A sound tries to ease its way out of your throat, something to let Sapnap know that you’ve heard him. It comes out as a wheeze, the sound lilting up at the end. A word, unintelligible. But he understands. 

“Hey,” More relief leeches into his voice, “You don’t have to talk, you can just nod or shake your head, okay?”

With that, you nod and close your eyes. As your eyes close, they sting and leak, fresh tears wetting dried tear tracks on your cheeks. Have you been crying this whole time?

“Do you want me to stop?” You shake your head. _No, don’t stop_. You don’t want this to end, actually. The whole world could end, everything collapse into a cavern as deep and barren as L’manberg; it could become just you, cradled in Sapnap’s arms for all you cared. Let the whole world wait, let it all stop just so that you could stay in his embrace.

While sitting there, body half on the floor, half in your fiance’s lap; a thought occurs to you. _You could give up_. You have everything you could ever want right here— the future of Mizu was Mizu’s problem. You’ve tried to fix the future, and for what? Parts of you, ripped off and thrown to the wind. Wilbur still presses his button, Techno still summons his withers, and the rest…

Panic begins to stir in your chest once again. It’s best not to dwell on it. 

Instead, you shiver and curl into a ball in Sapnap’s lap, your grip on his shirt tightening. A plea, silent and needy; _keep me here, anchor me to this moment_. You would like to pretend time stands still. 

Sapnap obliges your unspoken plea, saying nothing in turn. Nothing needs to be said. He sits there and cradles you until you slip from the waking world into a blissful, dreamless sleep.

…

A shuddered sigh escapes you as you finally tuck Karl into bed.

Four days. He’s been missing for four days, and when he reappears, it’s in the living room, thrashing around like a fish out of water. It was terrifying, to the point that your fingers had gone numb. You’d felt useless, watching him lay there and bawl, unable to think of anything that could help. In the end, all you were able to do was hold him and watch, pushing fear to spectate in the back of your mind.

By the time he’d finally fallen asleep, it was two in the morning. Not the latest, but not the earliest either. 

Now, you just sit at his bedside and watch, mind blank. You just want him to be okay.

_GeorgeNotFound whispers to you: help.  
GeorgeNotFound whispers to you: it’s an emergency.  
GeorgeNotFound whispers to you: at the community house.  
GeorgeNotFound whispers to you: hurry please._

The pings come in rapid-fire, like crossbow bolts. You look to Karl, still asleep on the bed. You can’t take him with you to whatever this is, he needs to sleep. He needs to stay calm, he deserves it. After whatever happened to him, whatever he's been through; he deserves a low-stress environment for a few days.

Which is why this pisses you off a little.

But George is a friend, and he wouldn’t call on you for no reason. You grimace and look back to your comm.

_i’m coming, sec._

Then, you switch who you’re whispering.

_quack. i need a favor._


End file.
